"If I get up, I might fall back down again...."

Hey People Out There,

It's just me again... You might have noticed the tag line of this post... Well it's the words to a SuperChick song, the full chorus is,
"If I get up I might fall back down again, So let's get up come on...
If I get up I might fall back down again, But we get up anyway...
If I get up I might fall back down again, So let's get up come on...
And We'll just jump and see even if it's the fortieth time... We'll just jump and see if we can fly..."

See last year I got a job at IHOP and it didn't turn out so well... I ended up having to quit because I couldn't handle the stress ( or the fact that they didn't let me have lunch) and it was taking a big tole on my health. I felt really horrible about it... Because of the circumstances I wasn't even able to give 2 weeks notice. I felt like I had failed. Like I was being a bad witness, but most of all I felt like the people around me (mostly my family) wouldn't be proud of me. ( I guess you should know that I have a hard time feeling that my grandparents are proud of me... Or that they even like me being around all that much.... But they had been really happy that I was getting a job. They had even lent me their car... Right after I quit they took the car back... It felt like they were trying to show that they were up set with me. )
Well anyway, the point of all this is that I am trying to get a job this year. I am trying to get one at a clothing store, I hope that it will be a better deal. But I am scared. I am scared to jump again... I'm afraid to fall and get hurt again... I'm afraid everyone (most of all I) will say "Look I told you she couldn't make it." But the words of SuperChick really fit here... "Failures are flyer's who've touched down, only they know what it's like to leave the ground." I failed and/or fell last year. But I learned and grew from it... And even though I am afraid, I have to try. If I don't jump I'll never fly. And one day I know I can make it. And in the words of SuperChick, one more time "Cuz if we never make it ever, than it'll be okay with me, let them say we're not big rock stars it's not what we're about.."

Luv ya and know that God loves you more. You are meant for great things.
-Rebekah